Porn: Trick or Treat?

By Steven Motyl

We’ve all been there. No human, ghost, or zombie can completely escape the sudden onslaught of boredom or stress that leads to a desire to momentarily check out of reality and escape into something – anything – that feels more like mental bubble gum and a lot less like work. For some it’s ESPN, for others it’s the constant drum of the 24-hour news cycle, for others it’s a quick hop into social media, for others it’s straight to the septic tank of porn. 

Part of the trick is we convince ourselves (or rather we buy the lie) that these parallel realities are all the same – just harmless, mindless, entertainment. However, while some activities – say a college football game (don’t ya just love fall?!) – are truly morally neutral and therefore can classify as “mental bubble gum;” others can start out morally neutral and quickly lead down a seriously morally problematic rabbit hole – think social media; and others still – any type of porn – are hopelessly flawed from the beginning. 

This is why you simply cannot “dabble” in porn. You can dabble in sports – grab a beer and some chips, plop on the couch, get in some good entertainment (if your team wins, even better), then get back to real life. You can dabble in social media – hop in, check your predetermined, non-pornographic, non-problematic feeds, post a cute selfie of you and your lunch, and very quickly get back to reality WITHOUT going down the porn rabbit hole.

But with anything at all that is intended to be or intended to lead you through the door to porn (i.e. designed to seduce you into arousal, lust, masturbation), might momentarily feel like a treat (“hey, I’ve had a rough day! I’m just gonna scroll through Instagram for a few minutes. Leave me alone, I’ve earned this.”) quickly morphs into something that leaves you feeling tricked EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  

Why is this? Simple. It’s supposed to “trick” you into thinking it’s a harmless “treat” that you have somehow earned or deserve that will satisfy your immediate need or craving to NOT be bored or stressed. That’s the way porn (and its marketing) is literally designed. Of course, we could say the same thing about Snickers (my personal favorite Halloween candy), or any number of delicious but not-so-healthy treats. 

The problem with porn, though, isn’t that it adds to my dad bod like too many Snickers, but it rips away at my dad heart, distorts my vision, and leaves me emptier and feeling far worse than I did before. So we tell ourselves, “this is crazy. I’m not gonna do this anymore. I hate this part of me.” So we go to confession, resolve “never again,” and get on with the never fruitful, always frustrating business of white knuckling. Tell me I’m not the only one? This can last a month, a week, a day, an hour. But the boredom or stress are sure to return, along with temptation, and the vicious cycle of trick or treat continues. It’s like we “ring the bell,” the door opens, and someone offers us a distorted image of God’s glorious plan for man and woman intentionally packaged in an appealing wrapper. They look us right in the eye and say, "take it, take it, take it. It's delicious. Now is not the time to think about how crappy you'll feel later. Just think about how yummy and satisfying it'll be right now. Our mouth waters. The urge crashes over us like a seal of melted carmel. We grasp it right out of their hand. Actually say, “thank you,” even though we know we'll hate ourselves for it later. Consume it. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Sound familiar?

What if I told you what you already know: you cannot break the porn cycle on your own? What if I told you coping mechanisms (software filters, accountability partners) are good but not enough to finally get you off the merry go round? What if I told you there is hope and an offer of real freedom and that when you’re ready you won’t have to repeat the same old, same old again? 

Freedom Coaching is a one-to-one mentoring system designed to help anyone wanting to break free from the cycle of porn.  We are a team of dedicated, passionate, well-trained, and well-formed coaches. We’ve been doing this for 10 years with stunning results. We’d be honored to walk with you, to teach you what to do when sudden boredom or stress strike, and so much more that will help lead you to real freedom. Check out the website for more info for you or someone you love. And, if you’re ready to be free before you turn into a ghost or a zombie, reach out.

We are here for you. We believe in you. And we believe real freedom is not only possible, but attainable for anyone ready to give up the tricks for the real treat.

Steve Motyl is a trained Freedom Coach with Freedom Coaching. He lives in the Amish countryside of southeast Pennsylvania with his wife, children, dog, barn cats, and chickens. He wants to know if you're ready to be human again. You can schedule a session with Steve or learn more or at freedom-coaching.net.