What does the Incarnation have to do with our sexuality? 

The great feast of Christmas is upon us. Like me, on Christmas day you probably go to church, get together with family and friends, open gifts, and enjoy a delicious Christmas dinner. And for you parents of young children, you look forward to the day, not simply because of the explosive joy that comes from your children’s faces as they open that gift – it’s the one they’ve been begging you for the past 6 months – but also the opportunity to rest and relax on Christmas night because all the preparations are done and they’re asleep by about 7pm because they got up WAAAAY too early. (Yes, parents, a breather is on the way!)

Under the veneer of all the glimmer of the gifts and the shimmer of tinsel on the tree is the reason for the season: Jesus Christ, the God-made-man, comes to earth as a little baby. He makes His appearance in frightful circumstances – born in a cold manger with animal dung all-round, laid in a feeding trough where the lowest of animals goes to feed, a pre-eminent sign of being the Bread of Life. He enters into our world to not simply let us know that God is with us as an outsider, but rather He takes on the most perfect of human flesh from His Mother, not simply for one moment in time, but for all time, breaking into eternity.

Emmanuel has come to be one with our human nature, so that we may participate in the divine nature (cf. 2 Pet 1:4). 

JESUS, THE MAN

Among this most astounding reality is that God-in-the-flesh doesn’t come to us as a sexless divinity. No, He takes on a male human body. Why? What does this matter? Because the body matters, and sexuality matters, especially to God, because He designed it this way.

From the beginning, God made humanity as either male or female, not simply because this is how other created images of God came into the world or through a fecund union of husband and wife in a human family, but because He wanted us to be the image of His love for humanity. How so? 

God creates everything. This means that anything that exists does so because He brought it into existence. Without Him, nothing that is can be. God is the one who initiates the gift of creation. We propose nothing to God. This means that all of creation is in a “feminine posture,” meaning everything, including male and female, is in a “feminine” relationship with God. We are only able to receive from Him, and without Him, we are nothing. 

This reality is written right into our male or female body. The male body speaks the primary language of initiating the gift; the female body speaks the primary language of receiving the gift. This does not mean that men cannot receive nor women initiate; it simply means that God called men to be the primary initiators and for women to receive this, not merely in the sexual act, but in countless ways.

 

MAN AND WOMAN

A simple example: a vast majority of men do not want to be proposed to, nor do women want to propose to the one they love. This initiation and receptivity is not just found in our bodies, but is also a sign of other human realities, such as the psychology of men and women (a much bigger topic that I do not have the space to explore here). 

This tells us that our sexed bodies as male and female are not an accident nor mere happenstance, but is part of the divine plan to have us image God in our physical bodies. This the reason why God became man qua a man in a male body: To reveal that God is the one initiating the gift of love to us, to call us out our sinfulness, to die for us so we can be capable of receiving His love. Yes, Christ was born to die, not because we deserve it, but because He is madly in love with His creation, namely, you.

Why, one will hardly die for a righteous man—though perhaps for a good man one will dare even to die. But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. (Rom 5: 7-8)

THE INCARNATION AND OUR SEXUALITY

What does this have to do our sexuality? Everything. The deepest meaning of our bodies is sexual. If you read that last line through a pornified lens, what you might be seeing is that the body is ultimately about engaging in lustful activity. On the contrary, when we re-read the body through a redeemed vision, we come to see that the body was not created to take, but instead to receive and to give love. We first receive from God everything that is true, good and beautiful, so that we can give the same kind of gift, albeit imperfectly, with a heart of love.

Christ is the Bridegroom Who has come to give up His Body to His Bride, the Church – that is, all baptized believers – so that they may be impregnated with His love, bearing forth his love and life to the world. This is what the Eucharist is all about, where the hidden mystery at in Bethlehem – a.k.a. the House of Bread – is laid in manger – a feeding trough. We do not give our flesh as physical food, but through faith live out as actions of love in and through our flesh.

CHRIST, THE BABE

This same Bridegroom comes to us not as a conquering hero – as what will happen at the end of time – but as a defenseless baby boy – a male, as one who identifies so closely with us that he imprints His divinity into our flesh. This Christmas, take time at a creche to meditate on this reality, because it has everything to do with God’s plan for your sexuality. Because God was able to be utterly vulnerable in this most fundamental and foundational human way, we too can trust that grace is available to us from the free gift of this little boy; that if we ask Him, He will heal our wounds, empower us to offer our sexuality as a sincere offering of others, allowing us to participate as co-redeemers of the world. Like His Mother, we simply must ask Him for this grace and make our Fiat, so His will can be done in and through our bodies and sexuality. 

We at Freedom Coaching are grateful to God for you and all the blessings He has bestowed on us this year. We wish you and your family a beautiful, redemptive Christmas and very holy new year. 

Steve Pokorny is the Founder of Freedom Coaching, a one-to-one mentoring system designed to break the power of pornified images in both men and women. His book, Redeemed Vision: Setting the Blind Free from the Pornified Culture, is available from Amazon.